STAGES     Psychological growth and spiritual development takes place within the three phases of 1) disorder and addiction, 2) existential issues of isolation, meaning, willing, responsibility, and death; and 3) spiritual development. Psychotherapy and consultation can address each of these phases in both a consecutive and interwoven fashion. Each area of development beautifully enhances and facilitates the others. 

SUFFERING      Contemporary life presents the challenge of learning how to be satisfied and feel joy in the midst of uncertainty and unmet needs. Addressing the inability to feel joy and gratitude in the midst of illness, suffering, and death is the primary focus of Buddhist philosophy. However, it is not even such serious levels of distress as illness, suffering, and death that are causing the problems in our society. It is rather the extensive and pervasive dissatisfaction and anguish moment by moment that torment so many. If a whole culture expects to have it all, then whenever we are not experiencing having all of our desires and needs met, we are frustrated, dissatisfied, discouraged, and empty. 

PSYCHOLOGICAL AND SPIRITUAL GROWTH      It is important to understand that it IS necessary to develop a strong and clear sense of self, a strong ego, and to complete the other goals and tasks that are standard in the psychotherapy process. But in addition to that and as an extension and completion of psychological development, it is essential that we move further into our creative and spiritual potential - into a journey of exploration which results not in a further enlarged self - but in a loss of ego/self. This is the journey that brings those on the pilgrimage to a place of freedom and liberation - a place of “not-self”. A place without boundary, without isolation, which results in a deep experience of joy, equanimity, and of internal peacefulness. 

It is helpful - and even essential - to understand how each of us can move forward in our own psychological and spiritual growth and development, the differences between the goals and methods of psychological work and the goals of spiritual development and formation, and how psychological and spiritual growth can be intertwined and integrated. Through our own efforts to have an awakening understanding and experience that can free us from suffering, we, too, can find our way, to be free from pervasive discouragement, anxiety, confusion, hatred, anger, fear, isolation and alienation. Through such a spiritual pilgrimage and experience, we extend our awareness and concern for the larger environment - for all things - since what has been experienced is a self/mind that includes all things and a personal self, body and mind, that momentarily dissolves and falls away. 

DETACHMENT      This doesn’t mean that bad things don’t happen, or that our lives become totally rosy, filled with nothing but joy, or that we live “happily ever after”. It means that when “bad things” happen we can experience them with detachment rather than attachment! It means that when we have a “bad day” that we can experience the bad day, too, as a good day -- with peacefulness, harmony, gratitude even, and equanimity! 

PSYCHOLOGICAL GROWTH      Psychological growth and development includes extrication from disorders and addictions such as compulsive behaviors, generalized anxiety, or depression, an effort towards establishing a strong and stable identity, and the development of self-esteem through self understanding and accomplishment. It includes the ability to control and direct cognitions, to manage emotions, and to change undesirable behavior. It includes developing skills, succeeding in work and social relationships, and maintaining primary relationships. In short psychological development means establishing a generally healthy and functioning life and manifesting our “true self”. 

SPIRITUAL GROWTH      Spiritually, in Buddhist terminology, it is necessarily an effort to attain for oneself an experience of enlightenment - to realize one’s “true nature”. And it is necessarily an effort that is a determined, disciplined, and diligent effort -- one that also requires an integration of such experiences into daily life and circumstances. It includes an unending persevering effort to change conditioning, to develop character, to develop the highest qualities. It is an effort to surpass the self in the service of others. 

PSYCHOLOGICAL IDENTITY      Your identity is the set of personal and behavioral characteristics which make up your distinct personality. Many people come into therapy without any sense of identity at all. It is surprising how many people. The lack of development of identity or sense of self is often because someone in the nuclear family had a strong, dominant influence combined with a lack of validation and affirmation. Sometimes there is a tiny self inside, underneath everything else, that is barely in awareness, but is hidden and never expresses itself. Usually it is feared that if the self were to express itself, rejection would result, and the potential loss is too frightening and overwhelming. There is a tremendous feeling of dependency and need precisely because the self has never developed and the fear of abandonment is too great. 

SPIRITUAL IDENTITY      If your psychological identity is the set of personal and behavioral characteristics which make up your distinct personality, then your spiritual identity is set of religious and spiritual values, beliefs, goals, and behaviors that are also a part of your distinct personality. Since we are defining spirituality in terms of behavior, what we are actually doing is what really defines our spiritual identity. The practice of Zen is the perfection of character. Reading about something or talking about something or even thinking about something is not being spiritual. Reading and talking and thinking indicates an interest in spirituality. Our spiritual identity is the values, beliefs, and goals that we are living out in behavior. In Jewish and Christian traditions, attention is not given to loss of self except in the context of losing oneself in mystical union with the divine. But in Buddhist philosophy, there is a specific focus on no-self. There is a great deal of confusion regarding this concept. It does not mean that one should not have an identity or sense of self. On the contrary, it is necessary to be well grounded in your identity and to have a strong foundation of a sense of self as described above - to have a clear and strong sense of self based on validation and affirmation from the past, to be aware of both inherent and earned worth, and to own and integrate your memories, history, relationships, goals, and values. 

INTEGRATED PSYCHOTHERAPY      I work sometimes with just a focus on psychological issues. But as therapy progresses, inevitably some spiritual issues come up. It is helpful to be able to address both areas with the same professional, and to work with each issue that comes up in an integrated way. In my book RADICAL WAY, I address issues that regularly come up in the growth process, looking at each one from the psychological and then the spiritual/Zen Buddhist perspective. 

Whether you are working on matter s that contribute to anxiety or depression, self-esteem, career development, creativity, or any of the other reasons that you might be coming to therapy, we can address each issue from both perspectives. My clients have very different religious and spiritual perspectives. I work with them within the context that is their framework. It may be Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, or Eastern. 

In my writing, RADIANT WAY, I define spirituality according to the phrase quoted of Yamada Koun Roshi, "The practice of Zen is the perfection of character." Spirituality is not an interest in something. It is not talking about or reading something. Spirituality is not even dreaming about something. Spirituality is actually working towards integrating values into one's life, and manifesting those values as behavior. It is being something. When interest, talking, reading, and dreaming moves into behavior, begins to be integrated into behavior, that is when the real work begins. I specialize in helping you with this process. 

TRANSFORMATION AND SPIRITUAL PRACTICE      In the book, Ethics for the New Millennium, His Holiness The Dalai Lama, writes, "Spirituality I take to be concerned with those qualities of the human spirit such as love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony which bring happiness to both self and others. While ritual and prayer, along with the questions of nirvana and salvation, are directly connected to religious faith, these inner qualities need not be, however. There is thus no reason why the individual should not develop them, even to a high degree, without recourse to any religious or metaphysical belief system. . . . Thus spiritual practice according to this description involves, on the one hand, acting out of concern for others' well-being. On the other, it entails transforming ourselves so that we become more readily disposed to do so. To speak of spiritual practice in any terms other than these is meaningless."  

If you wish to learn more about integrating psychological and spiritual growth, go to INTEGRATION.  If you would like to contact me, go to CONSULTATION, PSYCHOTHERAPY, or Q&A.  I will look forward to hearing from you and to meeting you on the telephone or online.